Because he's older and more cunning with his brutality, he's worse than the younger and more impulsive Spike. Spike took direction from Angelus, and any depraved activity Angelus participated in, Spike was right there beside him. Spike proved a violent deviant every bit as unpredictable as Angelus, and wouldn't stand in the way of his leader's torturous depravity, ensuring that hundreds of people were hurt at the hands of the two vampires. Buffy and Angel have a bond that almost transcends space and time, with the sort of soul-crushing depth of emotion that only vampires and their human lovers seem capable of.
Angelus, on the other hand, did numerous things to strain his connection with the Slayer , including mocking her after their first night of intimacy.
Angel knows he can never be with Buffy because of the destructive nature of their relationship, but that doesn't stop him from dangling his affections in front of her from time to time. Even after he left her to go to Los Angeles, he appeared back in Sunnydale in Season 4 and again in Season 7, knowing it would be incredibly difficult for Buffy to see him.
When Spike made his debut appearance in the series in Season 2's episode "School Hard," he did so with a plan to drain Sunnydale.
He didn't count on the Slayer and the Scooby Gang, and certainly didn't expect Angel to be advising them about his habits. Spike chooses the high school's parent-teacher conference night for his official coming out party, where he battles and nearly kills Buffy, until her mother intervenes with a blow to his head.
He flees, but vows revenge on all involved. She was discovered to be a member of Kalderash, the Romani clan who cursed Angelus with a soul centuries before.
This brutal attack devastated Giles, and nearly got him killed as well when he tried to take revenge on Angelus. Luckily Buffy intervened, but Angel's path of destruction had been vast, as shown in "Amends. Beginning with his first appearance, when Spike was intent on killing the Slayer, and has actively tried to accomplish the task several different times. She was inspired to do so after politician Stacey Abrams, whose efforts helped turn Georgia blue for the presidential election and has previously referenced the series while discussing politics, shared her own thoughts on the matter earlier in the week.
When someone on Twitter mentioned that well-known Buffy fan Abrams "shipped" the titular slayer with Spike, Abrams clarified, "To be fair, Angel was the right boyfriend for Buffy coming into her power. Spike was the right man to be with as she became the power.
And Hannigan agreed. When another Twitter user tried to argue that Buffy and Willow dating "would have ruined their friendship," Hannigan had yet another perfect comeback. You can't argue with those facts! He saw her embrace her path as The Chosen One, even when it meant his end. Angel has always been a fixture in Buffy's life, the "one that got away," the one she will always mourn a future with because the present created too many dangerous possibilities.
He returned a handful of times throughout the series when she truly needed help, and at the end of the seventh and final season, it was left open-ended whether or not there would be a place for him in her life again.
When Angel first met Buffy in Season 1 , she was a callow youth just trying to navigate high school and her strange, new abilities. She knew nothing about being The Chosen One, or the ramifications of defending the Hellmouth from the forces of darkness who wished to control it. She looked to Angel for guidance and for validation. When Spike met Buffy on the other hand, she was already established as the Slayer, and had already saved Sunnydale numerous times. From the moment they met, and throughout their relationship, their antagonistic relationship allowed him to continuously see her strength.
There's no denying that the love shared between Buffy and Angel was epic. It was the sort that burns the brightest but not the longest, doomed to go out not with a whimper but a blaze of light.
Their feelings were so deep in part because he was her first love, and because she awoke something in him he thought he'd lost forever. As Buffy was wont to constantly remind Spike, she didn't need him, nor even like him half the time. She was fully capable of taking care of herself without his help, which made them such a successful team; two competent partners joining together without sacrificing some part of themselves for the process to work.
As far of as the first two seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer are concerned, Angel had a tremendous hold on Buffy, mentally and physically. It was only at the conclusion of Season 2 that she did what was necessary to break free of his hold and save Sunnydale, but she didn't want to do it, and never truly got over him.
As Angelus, Angel did some pretty horrific things. When Angel had his soul, however, he was thoughtful, romantic, and had a true moral center. Spike, by contrast, even with his chip which acted as a sort of synthetic "soul" for a while stalked Buffy throughout Season 4 and 5, manipulated her emotions in Season 6, and did the most unthinkably heinous act a supposed "loving" partner could do to another when he physically violated.
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