Good afternoon! My ex who I was with for a bit over 2 years was moving on to another person and got with her soon after breaking up with me. How much time should I give it for him to reach out to me? Hi Sonia, so if you remain blocked through your planned NC then you need to attempt contact through a different platform. If you get a negative response then it shows you need to give your ex more time before they are ready to speak with you, and would need to do another 45 day No Contact.
Our problem was my drinking and drama followed. We broke up last June and I entered rehab. I cut all contact with him for 45 days. When I reached out we meet for dinner he was sooo happy to see me and was super nervous. Well I was sober for 90 days then relapsed ugh then came the drama. BUT he wants to be friends and cars for me which I believe.
Hi EBR team! I started dating a man 4 months ago. Then, I felt like he was distant and, as I knew he had some issues at work, I gave him space. But after about a month, I freaked out a little and we had a face to face discussion.
That he still liked to see me and talk for hours but he was scared to lose his freedom. I let him express what he was feeling without crying nor screaming nor begging. In fact, I did the opposite. I said it was ok, that he probably needed time alone to be ready and that the most important thing was that we were both happy in our lives.
He seemed sad but agreed, saying he was hoping to see me after a certain amont of time. Then I left. I sent a last text saying I was happy we could have this mature talk and that I wishing him the best.
Then I went to full no contact. What should I do now? Hey Marie, make sure you read the materials here and spend some time following the No Contact Rule while working on yourself in that time.
Hello, My bf broke up with me two weeks ago and I waited a week before reaching out to him. We met but he was so distant and annoyed which made me feel very sad and ignored. Hi DS, so what the meet up did was caused him to see you as needy and not over him. You need to complete a full 45 days no contact where you are working on yourself and becoming a social butterfly showing how over him you are how much fun you are having living your life.
Then mutual friends and when he views your social media which in time he will show how great you are doing and not sat around crying over him anymore. He is in a very stressful era of his life as we planned to move abroad for studying and he is waiting for responses.
I did a NC after break up,since he sent me a msg after a week asking if me and my family feel OK. Then it was my birthday in 15 days after break up and he just sent me a video of a lovely moments of ours and posted a sad video on his Instagram.
I would like to know should I count 30 days from the last time he reached? Hi Shareon so No contact will start from the last time you spoke to him, even if it was in response to his message.
That would be the day you started No Contact. During no contact you need to work on becoming Ungettable so make sure you read the articles about how to do this. You need to not reply to any messages that you get from him for a minimum of 30 days.
Hi, So I had a chat with Anna, but I am left even more confused by some of my exes actions this past week. She told me 21 day would be best since we were together 3 months and he was very loving towards me and it was kind of out of the blue for him to break up with me. He is also posting stories within a day or so if I post a story.
He has liked the pictures I have posted and usually watches my stories within 30 minutes or so. It just seems like he has changed…. Hey Jess, so make sure you stick to advice that Anna has given to you and this No contact includes not watching his stories for now.
It is a good thing he is watching your posts even if he is looking at other girls. So keep posting and read up about what it takes to be Ungettable as this is what is going to make you stand out even more than the other girls he is distracting himself with at the moment.
Hi Chris, My ex blocked me and 31 days have passed since that.. If this happens, what do you think I should do?. Hi Lucy so when you are blocked, does this mean you are hard blocked or soft blocked?
If it is a soft block you can reach out using a different method of communication with a friendly short conversation. Should I open or not open the message, as it lets him know when I opened it? Thank you! Should I initiate contact with him? What shod I do after NC for 45 days? Stay UG or initiate contact by responding to his messages regarding weeks Ago? Or Will he make contact on his own again?
Hi Base, so yes you reach out with an interesting text to break the pattern, catch his interest with a sense of mystery, have a short friendly conversation and you need to end the conversation first. There is plenty of articles about this and also YouTube videos on Chris channel for you to prepare for this text. Also do not bring up a message from the past, this is you re building your connection and getting to know each other again on a positive note.
You need to start limited no contact now, where you would only speak with each other about the shared child. Giving your reason for ending things I dont see him seeing your point of view straight away so stick with it for the time being. As for the disrespectful family member, be mindful not to speak ill of them as this will only make you appear as the bad person in the situation. Deal with it all as gracefully as possible. My girlfriend left me two weeks ago after 2 years and 2 months together.
I was doing the no contact and I was already a week in this monday. Up to that point, she had texted me and I managed to ignore her. She said that she was missing our dog and she wanted to see her. And she also mentioned she wanted to talk to me about a letter I gave her when starting no contact which said that I hoped it was for the best and that I was okay. I told her I needed time and we could see each other later on. But she insisted and finally we agreed to get in touch this weekend so we could arrange a day for her to meet me and the dog.
Right after texting her I regreted what I had done. You can do what we call a limited no contact, where you can speak about the dog and make arrangements for her to have the dog and you leave her to it, and then collect the dog later time.
This isnt breaking no contact as long as you do not speak about anything else in the mean time, especially relationships emotions and the break up. How long should I wait? We were together 4 and half months. He ended things saying if I ever need to talk to him I still can and that he still has some feelings for me. He just wants to be single right now… he has not been in a relationship in 5 years and does not like change. This also correlates to the study done by Ex Back Permanently in which participants were asked what helped them most in healing from the breakup.
The top answer was time. Time helps you heal from the breakup. And as I explained earlier, the main objective of doing no contact is to heal from the breakup and regain your confidence. Even if you want your ex back, you should continue no contact until you feel you have healed from the breakup. The purpose of social media is to enrich our lives and help us connect with our loved ones. It may have grown into something else now. Whatever social media you are using during breakup, ask yourself, is it enriching your life?
Is it helping you heal from the breakup? Remember, no contact is not meant to manipulate your ex or play mind games by posting pics on Facebook, Instagram etc.
No contact is meant to help you heal and grow as a person so you can get your ex back in a healthy and long lasting relationship. If staying connected with your ex on social media is making you obsess over them according to this study , it probably will , stay away from social media or block your ex.
They are most likely doing it to get a reaction out of you. Continue focusing on yourself and healing from the breakup. I get a lot of people asking me if they broke the no contact rule by speaking to their ex.
But in some cases, you may need to speak to your ex because of an event or incident. If you do end up contacting them, ask yourself the following questions to figure out if it counts as breaking no contact. To figure out if a particular action breaks the no contact rule, you need to ask yourself these questions:.
Suppose your ex contacts you on your birthday and you reply just saying thanks. But if in the same situation, you try to use this opportunity to speak to your ex and try to convince him or her to get back with you, you are acting desperate and needy and you just broke no contact. It may not be possible to apply a strict no contact with your ex in a lot of situation. Situations such as.
If this is the case, then you can still apply the no contact rule if you follow the following guidelines. You only speak to your ex about important issues. If you are living with your ex, you can speak to your ex about the living arrangement or anything house related. But only reply to them about the topic at hand. If your ex tries to talk about something personal, try to end the conversation immediately. I hope you understand and respect my boundary.
Make sure you are calm before you start talking about it and go in only with the intention of coming to a solution. Before you go into the conversation, be clear about. Maybe we can talk about it later and come to a solution together. Instead, just acknowledge that the discussion is getting heated and tell your ex that you want to stop this conversation and pick it up later when both of you have had time to think about it.
A lot of times, an ex likes to play games or do things to get a reaction out of you when you are doing no contact. Sometimes they post stuff on social media or say things to mutual friend. If you are doing mild no contact, they may try to do something that affects something important to you, i.
For example, if your ex is doing something that is making it hard for you to work. You should first try to speak to them and resolve the conflict. Tell them exactly what they are doing, how it makes you feel and what they can do to stop it. Think of the no contact rule as a detox for your mind and soul.
In the starting, it will be extremely difficult. In fact, the moment you decide to stop contact with your ex, you will have a sudden unbearable urge to call them immediately. During the no contact period, your mind will try to play tricks on you. And it is a master of manipulation. But you have to stay strong. You have to understand that you are not your mind. You have to become more powerful than those urges that you feel to contact your ex. Do everything in your power to make yourself feel better, just remember that contacting your ex is not going to do it.
If you contact your ex before no contact is over , you are just going to make yourself feel worse and hurt your chances of getting back together. If you suddenly stop contacting your ex, they are going to start missing you soon enough. And in a lot of cases, your ex will contact you when they miss you. What is the best strategy if they contact you? It usually depends on the following factors.
Note that these factors are sequenced according to their importance. That means factor 1 is the most important reason and factor 5 is the least important of them all. Remember, your aim here is to heal from the breakup so you can reach a place where you can speak to your ex without obsessing over the idea of getting your ex back. A place where you are the best version of yourself. Where you have the skills and tools to fix what was broken in the relationship.
Where you are You version 2. Suppose your ex is contacting you with the intention to talk. They miss you and they just want to chat and see how you are doing. You feel you are ready, and you have already done enough no contact. You feel like you know what was broken in the relationship and you are sure you know how to fix it. In this situation, you can choose to end no contact and just speak to your ex. If you are somewhere in between the two extremes, you can choose to do the No Initiate Rule that I talk about below.
Suppose your ex is only contacting you to talk about a legal matter or to just wish you luck for an important event in your life. So, you decide what to do based on how you feel. Are you confident enough to start re-attracting them? Continue no contact. I know it can be a bit confusing at times. So, if you are not sure how to react when your ex contacts you, you may want to get one of our email coaching packages.
You let them contact you. If they do, you reply to them, speak to them casually and you can even try to rebuild attraction when they reach out. You can do so by flirting or using methods described in this article on texting.
In a few cases, the no initiate rule can be the perfect way to rebuild attraction and connection with your ex without cutting them off completely. Beware though, this rule is not for everyone. In fact, this rule only applies to a very small percentage of people who want to get an ex back.
The key here is your emotional state. While you are doing the no initiate rule, you should still do everything else that you are supposed to do during the definite no contact rule. That includes physical activities, social activities, relaxing activities and self-improvement activities. You can choose to end it and contact your ex whenever you feel like the moment is right. When you are sure that you want to give it another shot with your ex.
And you are not just saying that because you miss your ex. But because you have thought about it and you realize that you and your ex can have a great relationship. When you choose to end it this way, you should only get back in touch with them as a friend and treat them as a friend.
If you are not ready to treat them as a friend, take some more time or consider doing definite no contact rule. You can also choose to turn the no initiate rule to definite no contact rule if you think speaking to your ex is messing up your emotional health or is preventing you from healing and is affecting your self-improvement.
When you start no contact with an ex, they will feel a vacuum in their lives. Especially if you have been contacting them regularly since the breakup. Your ex expects you to be needy and desperate. But I will break down the general psychology of how it works in 5 stages. Your ex will feel initial relief from the breakup in the first few days of no contact for usually about weeks. His curiosity will increase each day that you go without speaking to him.
This is not always the case and depends on the person specifically. Jealousy may come up. This is usually where rebound relationships occur in the stage of a breakup. Your ex has let his imagination run wild about what you could be doing to the point where he is totally preoccupied with you. This is the final stage that determines any course of action.
Your ex is afraid that he has lost you forever. Between breaking up with someone and being broken up with, this is the stage that the initiator starts to feel the way that you felt in the beginning. If you were in one for anything under 2 years, you might run the risk of both parties moving on going longer than 30 days with no contact. How long does no contact last for a serious, long-term relationship over 2 years? The answer to this question is tricky.
Do exes come back after no contact? Not necessarily. But that does not mean the no contact rule is not and has not been working. The no contact rule is designed to establish a healthy mentality for you, which also happens to be the best way of getting an ex back. And curiosity almost always leads to longing.
The no contact rule is so effective in that it gives both parties enough space to be objective without losing sentimental value on the relationship. What would the point be of breaking up, only to be inundated with a barrage of calls and texts asking to get back together? As hard as it is, try to think back on the time when you and your ex first started dating. So much magic and excitement came from what was unknown about each other.
Something crucial for you to take away from this article is that the no contact rule can be working without you being aware. How long will it take him to miss me? He could regret his decision to end the relationship in the first place, wondering what you are doing, and thinking about reaching out. That would mean that the no contact rule is strongly working.
But how would you have a way of measuring its success? It sounds counterintuitive, but maybe he realized he made a mistake and feels ashamed about it. Men, as a general rule, have strong egos.
We all pride ourselves on being the best friends, lovers, boyfriends, husbands, etc. Whether we like to admit it or not, we thrive on validation. So, what happens when your throw silence into the equation of male validation? A blow to his ego. So, how long does it take for a man to miss a woman after a break up?
Not long, so long as you give him space to miss you in the first place. And in keeping your silence, how long does it take for him to miss you?
As stated earlier, the standard course is anywhere from weeks. Which brings me to my next point below…. Obviously it would be best-case scenario if he reached out himself, but if you are certain that you want to get back together with him after 3 months, reaching out would make the most sense.
Whatever you do, just remember — 4 weeks minimum is the best of time for the no contact rule to work. Good luck out there! I hope this helped you understand exactly how long to do the no contact rule for.
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Take the Quiz. Tagged as: breakup advice , get your ex back , getting your ex boyfriend back , how long to do no contact rule , how to get him back , how to get your ex back , no contact rule , no contact rule explained. So he broke up with me for his mom. His mom made him breakup with me. There was a religion problem. And said that we should move on. And I want him back. Cause I really love him. He has made up his mind. But I want him back. What should I do? Fast forward to recently she told me she was pregnant and due to the iud in place it the pregnancy needs to terminated.
She calls me after 8 days of nc wanted to recommit. My boyfriend she is that he love me but his family force him to marry another. So his marriage got fixed and now he had broken up with me. We had a quarrel and he said that he will marry wherever his parents wish to. What should I do now to get him back? I love him very much. Will this no contact rule work for me in this case? He broke up with me just day before yesterday…. I did a big mistake… I bad mouthed his family and mom who is no more already….
Of course he used bad words on me first…. It is a 2 year long relationship…. I am starting no contact rule by today for 30 days…. Hope it works… I miss him very terrible. We are in an LDR, he is a doctor in private practice, so with the US economy getting hit, I am pretty sure he had to go under. Then he has all of these other problems, and rather than me nagging and wondering where we are going if any where, I just left him alone.
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